Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
