is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
