But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
