Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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