i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
