What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
