In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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