whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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