Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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