Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
