So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
