im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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