I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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