I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
