so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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