so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
