and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize