A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
