love makes seman taste better
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
