I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
