guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
