I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize