Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
