Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
