Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
