just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize