If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize