so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize