You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
