the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize