please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
