Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
