my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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