how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
