did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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