I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
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my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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