It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize