You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
