TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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