Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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