last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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