He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
