this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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