You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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