went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
