We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
