I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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