I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
