I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize