You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He better not be in your backpack
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
