I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
