Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
did i walk over a car last night?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
