So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
