Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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