I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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