I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
