oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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