I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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