sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
