K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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