make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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