im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
