hotel room ftw
just tell him i said nine months
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sorry my hands just texted you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
